Hey All --

I realize your e-mail inboxes are inundated with every forward known to man.  These e-mails are of course accompanied by unrelenting offers promising to make right your inferior hoo-ha ( how do they always find me) and reinstate your first banana status through a series of magic pills.   And lets not forget how many times you have been promised massive payouts from Microsoft or the prince of Nigeria if you forward this to everyone you know.  Are you rich yet?  Liars!  Liars, I tell you!!!  So before you lump me in with the banana enhancing, pill slinging lot that currently infests your inbox, consider this, I am not a liar.  Okay, that's a lie, but I won't lie to you again in this e-mail.

Why am I defending this e-mail?  Because I, like my forward-loving counterparts, am going to ask you to forward this to everyone and their dog.  By forwarding this, I promise you will have my undying gratitude which, mind you, is a lot more than any other e-mailer offered you. 

"What," say you, "Is the point of this correspondence?"  The point, dear friends, is helping out a person in need, me.  It's my eyes, they feel like two burning coals and I must rectify this ailment at once.  I am the victim of a bitter curse, the curse of a tiny television.  Without your help, I fear the embers that currently occupy my eye sockets will burn the tiny brain that bounces around obnoxiously in my skull as I walk to and fro.  My current television has declared a jihad on my eyesight, and it is winning!!  But I will not go down without a fight, I am sending for your reinforcements. 

Please visit my website (link below) and help me stamp out the insurgency of small televisions.  At this point I could dawn my television evangelist hat..."Anything helps people, skip that latte and do something good with your extra change."   Instead, I will spare you the drama and simply ask you to visit and if you can ( I know you can) donate.  This is all I have ever asked of you, except for that one time, but you vowed to never mention that again.  If you can't donate ( why not) please at least visit the site, read my spiel and then visit one of the sponsors google has so graciously agreed to provide.  If you visit an ad, I get a couple of cents, it all adds up.  ( A gentle word of caution though, if you click the ads over and over from the same computer, it is click fraud...so don't.)  Oh, and all you bloggers, facebookers, myspacers, and web publishing elite if you could throw me some link love and point people in my website's direction I would forever sing your praise.  So please, visit, link, click, donate and then forward this to everyone who has ever e-mailed you.

My eyes thank you and I love you all,

"Sam"

 

PS  If you are using firefox and have adblock installed, turn it off or whitelist the site so the ads show up.  If you dont have firefox, download it from the button on my page, it will make your web browsing faster, safer and way sexier.  Plus it helps my cause.